In many ways, teenagers in 2026 might seem to have it easy. Instead of trawling through a neighbour’s dusty Encyclopaedia Britannica or library shelves for homework answers, they have endless information at their fingertips. Want to learn guitar? There’s a YouTube tutorial for that. Feel like Korean fried chicken or smash burgers? It can be at your door in less than 30 minutes. And rather than waiting a week for their favourite show, they can stream whatever they like, whenever they like – endless entertainment on demand.

It sounds like a great way to grow up. Even chores are easier than a generation ago, thanks to dishwashers and tumble dryers. But looks can be deceiving. Our rangatahi are struggling, more of them every day, for many reasons: some obvious, others rooted in a malaise they struggle to articulate or even understand.

The state of the coal face

“As an organisation working on the front line, we have seen a huge increase in young people reaching out for support – and dealing with some pretty complex and high-risk things since Covid-19,” says Liz Hosking-Clement, clinical improvement lead for Youthline. “We saw another big jump in January last year, and it’s continued to rise ever since. In the past four months, we have hit an all-time high – we are connecting an average of four young people a day with emergency services. Many years ago, it would be one a week.”

And frighteningly, it’s not just more young people reaching out; they’re also getting younger. “We are seeing younger young people reaching out for support, too. As of last year, 10% of Helpline clients were under 12.”

What has our teens in such a bad way? Youthline says their calls are varied, but themes of anxiety, depression, distress, loneliness, self-harm, suicidality, identity struggles, family conflict, school and university pressure, social disconnection and the impact of the digital world are common. “Those experiences are also shaped by things like cost-of-living pressures, housing insecurity, lack of job opportunities, racism, and unequal access to support,” Hosking-Clement says.

A system under pressure

If you’ve tried to access support for a young person recently, you’ll know services are stretched. “I have definitely seen an increase in mental health issues amongst teenagers,” says Leesa Minton-Skirrow from Massey High School in Auckland, who has been a counsellor for 30 years. “There is an increased demand in referrals from teens from school and external sources. I see it working both part-time at school, and for other organisations.”

The SGC (School Guidance Counsellors) Advisory Group – part of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors – has a broad overview of the situation nationwide. Spokesperson Carla King says: “We are seeing high levels of performance anxiety – both school and social, and a comparison culture driven by social media, plus things like body issues, and bullying.” She says counsellors across the country are also seeing many teens having difficulty sitting with uncomfortable feelings, with an increased tendency to numb discomfort immediately. “Sometimes it looks like the school system is not ‘fit’ for today’s children and teens, and we are definitely seeing a growing trend of school avoidance as a coping mechanism,” she says.

The ‘why’ behind the rise

It’s a complex situation, with changing external factors making it even more so. “The impacts of Covid and natural disasters continue on our young people – and on families who sometimes have multiple stresses,” says Sarah Lineham, also from SGC AG. “There are families where both parents are working and still find it hard to make ends meet.” She says young people are naturally “ego-centric” and often believe they are at fault for things that are not, especially if things are not good at home.

But there’s possibly another factor behind these rising numbers. Ten years ago, there was more stigma around admitting you weren’t coping or mentioning mental health, while this generation is far more open. “I think the normalisation of mental health and wellbeing has given space and the language for young people to voice what is going on for them, more so now than ever before,” Lineham says.

The technology factor

Looking at what has changed in recent years, it’s hard to ignore technology’s role. While their parents were out riding bikes or hanging out at the mall at the same age, today’s teenagers carry small computers in their pockets, reducing the need to go anywhere. That shift intensified during the pandemic, when they couldn’t socialise in person.

“I think we are definitely seeing a lot of what could be called phone addiction,” Minton-Skirrow says. “And that instant gratification they get can cause focus and concentration issues over time. That constant overstimulation of external stimuli from their smartphones can lead to a lack of grounding – and a lack of time spent reflecting and just being with themselves. This can all lead to heightened anxiety.”

And of course, there’s social media. “That focus on unrealistic, perfect looks can be so damaging, as can those inappropriate behaviours towards others that are often deemed funny – or done to evoke reactions and get likes.”

Sean Lyons, chief online safety officer at Netsafe, says that while technology and social media can contribute, it’s important not to lay all the blame there.

“I don’t feel 100% comfortable saying that the linkage is obvious. There’s a lot going on societally that has found us in this position. After that period in history [the pandemic], we all celebrated how school could continue, and technology could allow our young people’s education not to disappear into a black hole. High street banks still managed to operate, and some businesses realised they no longer needed storefronts to keep trading. Society has changed as a result – there are different expectations of how we interact. There’s a lot of time spent interacting with technology – and that’s all of us, not just young people. We have changed, a lot of things have changed, and as an organisation we also hear a lot about young people who maintain connection and community where they wouldn’t have been able to – it can be mental health enhancing as well.”

Photo / 123RF

While Lyons doesn’t want to link full cause and effect to technology use, he says families know when use has become problematic or excessive, and suggests that if parents want to address it, it should be a discussion rather than a set of rules. “It’s often more successful when it’s family-related guidance rather than hard and fast rules, and when parents are willing to reflect on their own usage and what their teens might be observing of them as well. There will be young people out there looking at their parents and thinking, ‘that’s problematic use’.”

He says it can help when parents understand how time on devices is spent based on real information – how much is social media, school research, YouTube, or learning a new skill. He suggested journaling or diarising for a few days if kids are prepared to be honest, and says it’s even better if parents do it alongside them to reflect on their own use. “And if you’re having those screen time discussions, it’s also important to talk to them about what they would do if suddenly they were challenged in a way online that made them feel scared. Questions like: What would you do? Who would you talk to? What would you do if your friends were in that position? Have any of them been in that position? This can be the difference between them coming to you or not when something dangerous or inappropriate has happened in their digital space.”

Experts offer practical advice

All the school counsellors we spoke to had great advice. Clare Hubbard, head of guidance and wellbeing at Kaitāia College, says: “Stay connected and present with your young people and be available however you can. Being at sports, dropping off at a part-time job, cooking together, eating together.” She also stressed the importance of knowing who they are hanging out with – the families, the kids, the parents. “These people will notice any dramatic changes in behaviour, and will help form that circle of support if things go wrong. Friends are often the ones they go to first. And make sure they have those key relationships in place if you can – the favourite uncle or cousin or family friend – sometimes it can’t be you, but if they have other trusted people they can talk to that can be really helpful in times of crisis.”

Other helpful advice from our experts included:

• Remember, being fine all the time isn’t the goal. Being able to get through the ups and downs and the stressors together is.
• Look at what you’re modelling - with screen time, with anger, with how you cope with stress, with apologising when you make a mistake. Engage in your own therapy if you have things to work through.
• Be interested in their world - know the platforms they use, the humour they share, the pressures they navigate. Not as surveillance, but as genuine interest. It positions you as an ally rather than an external authority, making them more likely to confide if things have gone wrong.
• If you suspect something is not right, check in with their friends, involve a school counsellor or a family doctor. The earlier you can get help, the better. If they open up to you, listen without reacting or trying to solve.