'What about my trauma': Victim slams court's decision to 'protect' recidivist sex abuser

The name of a man who sexually assaulted a woman repeatedly over five years – and has numerous convictions for almost identical offending against others he met through his job as a civil servant – has been permanently suppressed. 

The suppression order also means most of the details of his case can never be reported. 

His victim has now waived her own right to automatic suppression so she can tell her story. 

“All they are worried about is his trauma,” Kim Sawyers told the Herald. 

“Boo hoo - what about my trauma, what about me and my family?” 

“He is a predator … Why should he have anonymity? I feel like I have spent 20 years running around in the shadows and I don’t want to do that anymore. 

“And yet he gets this protection? I feel like the judge … would rather protect him than protect his victims. It is an insult. It’s outrageous … mindblowing. 

“It’s not right. It’s like he’s the victim and I am the problem.” 

Kim Sawyers. Photo / Supplied 

The court heard that after meeting Sawyers, who was 23 at the time, in his professional capacity, the man “continued to contact her”. 

On some occasions, he sent her “explicit images” of himself. 

Court documents state he would also go to her address and knock on her door. 

When Sawyers answered, he would undo his pants and tell her to touch his genitals. 

She did so “out of fear” from his “threats”. 

The man would also touch Sawyers during the assaults, which were brief and usually ended when a car drove past and “interrupted” him. 

He threatened her with official action from various authorities if she did not comply – or if she went to the police. 

Sawyers tried to report the matter, but police did not believe her and no action was taken. 

Sawyers moved house at least five times during that period in a bid to hide from her abuser, who she felt was “stalking” her. 

Each time he managed to track her down and showed up at her door again. 

The man continued to abuse her – and went on to offend against a number of other women in the same way. 

Sawyers said several years ago police contacted her about the man. He was finally charged with what he did to her. 

The man this year pleaded guilty to seven charges of indecent assault, the majority of them representative, meaning he committed multiple offences of the same type in similar circumstances. 

Kim Sawyers said she spent 20 years hiding in the shadows - but now wants to share her story. Photo / Supplied 

The presiding judge ruled that publishing the man’s name would cause “extreme hardship” and “likely endanger” the safety of certain family members. 

She also suppressed all the evidence and information she relied on to make her suppression decision. 

The Crown considered fighting the suppression order but ultimately decided not to appeal. 

Sawyers attended sentencing for the man and read a victim impact statement. 

“It was surreal. At the time, it felt like I was getting my voice back and as I was reading I got stronger,” she said. 

“But that power has been taken away again by not allowing him to be named.” 

In her statement, Sawyers explained the abuse she endured was not just physical. 

“It was psychological, and it was not isolated – it was prolonged, deliberate,” she said. 

“What makes it even more serious is that he used the power and authority of [his] role to control, intimidate, and violate me. 

“When the offending began in 2007, I was a young solo mother raising my 3-year-old daughter. I was isolated, vulnerable, and had very little support. My focus should have been on giving her safety and stability. Instead, I was trying to survive while living in fear … and that fear affected every part of my life. 

“I lived in a constant state of alertness … I was anxious, exhausted and emotionally depleted. There was nowhere I felt safe.” 

It took two decades for the offender to be held to account for repeatedly assaulting Kim Sawyers. Photo / File 

Sawyers said the abuse had “changed the course” of her life. 

She has “severe and enduring” mental health issues and has attempted suicide multiple times. 

She lives with “chronic fear, anxiety and hypervigilance” and has struggled with drugs. 

“I do not feel that I’ve had the opportunity to live a normal life … so much of my life has been trying to survive and then trying to recover and now trying to heal,” she said. 

“I also carry guilt in relation to the other victims. I tried to get police to listen, but I was not taken seriously. 

“In my interactions with police … I’ve often felt dismissed, judged and treated as though I was the problem rather than the victim of serious offending. 

“I live with the belief that if action had been taken sooner, others may not have been abused.” 

Sawyers said the recidivist offender had caused her “profound, long-term and life-altering” harm. 

“These effects did not end when the offending stopped - they continue to shape how I live every day,” she said. 

“I ask the court to recognise that this offending has had consequences far beyond the acts themselves.” 

The man was sentenced to a period of home detention. 

Sawyers said what she had been through was “horrific” and “disgusting”. 

“And he just gets to walk away like nothing happened,” she said. 

“What he did turned me into something I wasn’t … I was working two jobs at the time, and I was at university. I would have had a career, I would have had a stable partner … and then I was a drug addict at home. 

“For 20 years I’ve had to live with what he did … For 20 years, my voice was suppressed. First by the abuse, then by fear, shame and the silence that so many survivors carry.” 

Sawyers said her decision to waive her statutory right to name suppression was not about “revenge”. 

“It isn’t about keeping someone else’s story alive. It’s about finally being able to tell mine. I’m speaking not because I can change the past, but because I refuse to let silence define the rest of my life.” 

Sawyers said the offending had a significant impact on her life - and her family. Photo / Supplied

Sawyers received a payment from the offender for the harm he caused her. 

She revealed that she took her son, nieces and nephew and to a local supermarket and “gave it all away”. 

“I didn’t want his bloody money … it represented one of the darkest chapters of my life, so we stood outside, and I let the kids pick people to give vouchers to,” she said. 

“We don’t know the names of the people we helped. We don’t know their stories. But we hope that around 60 families found grocery shopping a little less stressful that day. 

“Watching those four kids hand money to complete strangers changed me forever. They didn’t see strangers. They saw people. They didn’t ask who deserved help. They simply chose kindness. In the middle of the darkest chapter of my life, they became my light. They reminded me why I survived. They reminded me that no matter how much darkness exists in this world, there is always light if you’re willing to look for it.” 

Sawyers said sharing her story gave her freedom and she hoped it would inspire others to speak up. 

“For so long, my story was defined by what someone else chose to do to me … I can’t get back the years that trauma stole from me. I can’t change what happened. But I can choose what grows from it,” she said. 

“I finally choose compassion over bitterness. I choose hope over silence. 

“If my voice gives one survivor the courage to speak, then every difficult step has been worth it.” 

Police conceded they did not handle Sawyer’s complaint properly when she first reported the abuse. 

Detective Superintendent Darryl Sweeney. Photo / George Heard

Detective Superintendent Darryl Sweeney has spent time with Sawyers and supported her at sentencing. 

“I have spoken to her to better understand her thoughts about how we could have handled the matter differently,” he said. 

“Police are working to understand how her efforts to contact us previously regarding this matter could have been missed. 

“We acknowledge the trauma of the repeated abuse the victim suffered by this offender, and we would certainly have been interested in speaking to her at the time of the original investigation and before that. 

“We admire the victim’s tenacity in seeking justice and would like to reassure her, and the wider public, that we want that for her too.” 

SEXUAL HARM 

How to get help:

If you're in danger now phone the police on 111 if you can do so safely

For more information: 

If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email support@safetotalk.nz
• For more info or to web chat visit helpauckland.co.nz

• She Is Not Your Rehab: An anti-violence movement that exists to address and dismantle the cycles of intergenerational trauma, violence, and abuse by promoting safe relationships and providing support and resources for individuals and communities.

Are you worried about what you are watching? Are you experiencing sexual thoughts that involve harm towards others? Are you concerned about someone else’s or your own online behaviour? Contact:

• Stop, South Island
• WellStop, lower North Island
• Safe Network, northern North Island

If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault. 

Anna Leask is a senior journalist who covers Christchurch issues and national crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2008 and has worked as a journalist for more than 20 years with a particular focus on family and gender-based violence, child abuse, sexual violence and homicides. She writes, hosts and produces the award-winning podcast A Moment In Crime, released monthly on nzherald.co.nz.